Friday, September 19, 2008

Balls, Balls and more Balls: An Oh No Romo Book Club Exclusive with Drew Magary

This is our second edition of the Oh No Romo book club. You might remember when we had our first edition of the book club last month. This month, we have a treat for you folks. Kissing Suzy Kolber writer and Deadspin Editor-at-Large, Drew Magary (a.k.a Big Daddy Drew), is here to promote his new book, Men with Balls. His book is being released October 27. Enjoy the interview.

How did the idea of "Men with Balls" come to be?

An editor emailed everyone at KSK and asked if we had any book ideas. I had none, except for my futuristic novel where babies are given breast implants at birth and dinosaurs run the senate. So I got together with an agent and brainstormed ideas, and we eventually found one that grew into something bigger.

What is "MwB" about?

It's a handbook for professional athletes. And if there's anyone on earth who knows what it's like to be a pro athlete, it's me. I've spent over 30 years imagining myself as one.

Why the title?

I liked the subtlety of it. It really takes a solid hour or two for that double entendre to sink in, and then you're all like WHOA MY MIND IS BLOWN!

Why should we read this book?

Obviously, I wrote it. So it's hollow for me to tell you it's funny and what not. All I can tell you is that everyone who's read it has really enjoyed it, or at least has been too polite to tell me the hard truth. I think if you like KSK and Deadspin, it's pretty much right up your alley.

You proclaim this book to be the "very last book you'll ever read." How is this so? Are you trying to destroy my dreams of writing a Thin Lizzy biography?

As I said, once you read the book, you will know how to be a pro athlete. After that, you'll be spending far too much time doing blow and f***ing in airplanes to care about reading, which is for nerds.

Describe your own personal touchdown dance. Why the mime crap?

Mine would be very erotic. I'd use the goal post as a stripper pole. Then I'd crank a Candlebox record and really let those tits fly.

Why a buffet for sports writers? Can't I just hire a caterer?

Who do you PROVIDES the buffet, Mr. Smart Aleck? (My new name, apparently)

Seriously, what's with your picture? Don't you have anything better?

I do, but I gave people a middling one on purpose. I don't want the white hot intensity of my Adonis-like features to burn a hole through your loins.

For the record, you are not Joe Buck. Correct?

No. That is a disgusting question. (Imagine that)

How weird was it when Buzz (Bissinger) called you "Big Daddy Balls?" Did you ever expect Buzz would discuss your work during the 'Costas Now' segment?

I was pissed when he called me that, because he got my name wrong. I had no idea he was gonna mention me, and then he did, and then he got my name wrong, so I had to convince people that I was the asshole he was talking about. DAMN HIM!

Which site do you enjoy to write for more: Kissing Suzy Kolber or Deadspin?

KSK, because the site belongs to us.

Is this the start of the Drew Magary media empire? If so, will Ruffles be apart of the Magary media empire?

That's the goal. I hope to become a full-fledged dick joke mogul. Ruffles may or may not be involved.

What are your favorite sports blogs? Top 5 (Not including KSK and Deadspin)

The terrible truth is the sports blogs I read are those two, EDSBS, and With Leather. If they link elsewhere, I follow the links. But I don't stray far from those four. I'm bad like that.

Least favorite sports book? Why?

Is there a book about the Packers? That one. (Not even the book on Lombardi?)

Least favorite athlete? Why?

Favre. If I have to tell you why, you must be Peter King. (No we're not King, but we do have some pamphlets from the One World, One Brett Favre Ministry)

Least favorite sports movie? Why?

I saw Mr. Baseball once. That was pretty sh*tty. (Yeah, but did you like the Selleck mustache at least?)

Least favorite football announcer? Why?

Berman. He's a f***ing front-runner who tells old jokes and doesn't give a sh*t about the audience.

Any final words before I release you back into the wild?

Always wipe front to back.

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